I hit $1001 in donations on Saturday - HOORAY!

I also hit the nebulizer again - it was a rough morning.
It was cold and dry and we were up in the mountains again - so beautiful.
But for someone with asthma, cold and dry air can be like breathing sandpaper.
I was very careful, watched my breathing, kept hydrating like crazy, made sure my core was warm, i had a balaclava on, kept my head warm. But conditions were just right to set off a lovely attack. It took a while to recover and I had some great people around to help.

I still get really embarrassed when that happens - I'm pretty independent and stubborn, I know. So to be put in a position like that - i just don't want to be a bother, I don't want to disrupt anything or anyone's plans. It didn't help that I've hit a stress level that I'm not comfortable with, in life and in work - there is a lot going on and I worry: needing the new car, refinancing of the condo, taking on a little part time job for extra cash, 3 back to back weeks of big work events, raising the $5000, a very limited response to my 240 letters asking for donations, training for the ride. When the asthma attack hit - I was so mad that it happened, so mad I couldn't control it, so mad that it has to be this f***ing hard. This long laundry list of shit in my head of what I couldn't do just kept going through my head and fueling the anger, that really wasn't anger, it was more of a disappointment.
I had a moment, in short. A moment where i wish it wouldn't be so hard.
But if I didn't have to work for it - it wouldn't be worth it.
just like the quote i put on my donation letter:
There are too many people praying for mountains of difficulty to be removed, when what they really need is courage to climb them.

After a little lung treatment and a little rest at home, I got on my trainer that night and finished the last 40 miles - thank GOD i had a bunch of movies to watch.

I'll be back on the bike this week and next Saturday I'll do it again - I'll go and ride. I will keep asking friends, family, strangers to help support the L&LS. I'm not going to give up on the charity, on the event or myself.
I'm not giving up.

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